The lawsuit brought by a flight attendent, Sharon Brown, against Victoria Osteen, wife of Houston (and television) pastor Joel Osteen has a new twist…
According to a Fox News report this morning, Brown admitted that she called Joel Osteen “The Devil” and then called the church “a cult”.
Ouch.
Brown now claims her words were taken out of context. Brown is suing Osteen for allegedly pushing her into a bathroom door and elbowing her in the chest. Brown wants punitive damages amounting to 10% of the Osteen’s net worth…
Oh, REALLY? She wants a TITHE? Who does she think she is… Melchizedek? (I’m thinking of a word… it involves a shiny yellow metal, a mine and a shovel.)
Brown says that as a result of the alleged incident, she has “lost some of her faith” and that she now has “hemriods”.
Okay, first of all, if all you put your faith in is people you will be disappointed and lose it sometimes. Faith in God doesn’t (or shouldn’t) depend on the actions of fallible human beings.
Faith is a lasting gift of God, not a mental assent toward His general direction.
Secondly, you don’t get hemroids from Victoria Osteen allegedly pushing you and giving you the elbow. Try as I might, I couldn’t find one instance anywhere that a minor assault could cause hemroids. Victoria Osteen would have had to PICK BROWN UP and put her in a wrestling hold around her waist for something like that to happen.
You CAN, however, get hemroids from sitting on the toilet for extended periods of time, from heredity, from giving birth, anal sex, standing or sitting for long periods (like in a plane flying every day), lack of adequate fiber, insufficient water intake, lack of adequate exercise, weak pelvic floor, straining too much while pooping, and from age. The list is actually longer, but assault is not in the list.
So, if this lawsuit doesn’t work, Brown can always sue the toilet manufacturer.